Back In San Francisco

I never tire of visiting magical San Francisco a city so iconic that their fog has a name. It’s Karl. ICYMI, I was last here in 2019 and checked out an antique penny arcade, hit up a fortune cookie factory, toured Coit Tower, and thankfully was able to dine at the Cliff House which tragically went under last year. A file in my brain has been storing adventures that I didn’t quite make, so here we go!

Dim Sum & then some

When it comes to ‘musts’ in the Golden City, Chinese food is one of them. Home to the largest Chinese enclave outside of Asia and location of the oldest Chinatown in North America, culture and history abound. I looked on a map and discovered the first dim sum house in the country was just a quarter of a mile from our hotel. Hang Ah Tea Room has been making the city’s finest soup dumplings and bbq pork buns since 1920. My favorites were the scallion pancakes and the foil wrapped chicken which I have yet to find outside the Bay Area. Friends, if you ever find yourself here, make sure to buy some of their special hot chili oil to take home. 

Of the many things San Francisco is known for, steep hills are not to be underestimated. The walk back straight up to the Fairmont was brutal. And worth it.

Six Nights in Bangkok

Upon checking into the Fairmont Hotel, we were informed that we would be in the Bangkok suite, one of the precious few with balconies. I imagined a rich history of dignitaries and royalty living lavishly in this very suite. And maybe they did, but it was a bit of a letdown to learn that there was no great story behind the Bangkok suite and they chose to name it after a random city. Still, no glamour lacking here. Dubbed “The White House of the West,” the Fairmont has hosted nearly every American president since Taft, the likes of whom have stayed in their legendary 6,000 sq ft penthouse suite which spans the entire eighth floor. 

The first concierge in the country was likely kept busy with famous guests such as Nat King Cole, Marlene Dietrich, and Buddy Rich. The statue on the hotel’s front lawn commemorates the first time Tony Bennett sang “I Left My Heart in San Francisco” here in the Venetian Room. However the most intriguing part of the hotel might actually be in the basement. 

In 1929 an interior swimming pool called the “Fairmont Plunge” was built on the terrace level. Come 1945, an illustrious MGM set director was hired to reimagine this subterranean pool into what has since been the Tonga Room and Hurricane Bar. It’s open just 4 nights a week and getting a table isn’t easy even during a pandemic. Just when you thought it couldn’t get much sweeter than a historic tiki bar, let me tell you about the The Island Groove Band who delight the room with classic rock covers all while floating on a barge in the middle of the pool lagoon. Polynesian fare, rum drinks with little colorful umbrellas, and artificial tropical storms complete with rain, thunder, and lightning set a dramatic scene. When the late Anthony Bourdain visited the Tonga in 2012 he said, “If you’ve got no love in your heart for this place, you are a sick, twisted, lonely f*ck with too many cats.” 

Mic drop. 

The following day we would be heading somewhere with a very different island vibe.

The Rock

Just a mile and a quarter from the sophistication of the City lies the ruins of one of the world’s most notorious prisons. It may have begun as a fort, then a lighthouse, but Alcatraz was almost always a prison. According to Number 5, Institution Rules & Regulations: “ You are entitled to food, clothing, shelter, and medical attention. Anything else you get is a privilege.” Such was the reality behind bars on Alcatraz which included some of the most dangerous, high-profile inmates.

Beginning in 1934, over the course of 29 years Alcatraz played host to 1,545 men serving time — The likes of infamous troublemakers including Al “Scarface” Capone, Robert Straud aka “The Birdman,” George “Machine Gun Kelly,” and Alvin “Creepy” Karpis. These men required maximum security and were categorized as extreme escape risks. The most well-known escape attempt occurred in 1962. Inmates Frank Morris, a highly intelligent criminal with an IQ of 133, and brothers John and Clarence Anglin, known to be skilled swimmers, fashioned a flotation device from raincoats and made way for freedom. They left papier-mâché heads with human hair behind in their beds to fool the guards, which worked for a time as their absences were not discovered until the following morning. Conspiracy theories have thrived for years, the most popular being that the men made it to nearby Angel Island and ultimately went off to live into their twilight years in Brazil. Family members claimed to have received occasional letters and phone calls. That’s an entertaining notion and maybe even feasible but authorities presume that they drowned in San Francisco’s frigid, choppy waters. No prison wants to admit there was ever a successful get-away and I guess we’ll really never know. 

Alcatraz is a dichotomy; One part serious prison with terrifying inmates, but also an island covered with beautiful gardens to this day with stunning views of San Francisco. This was also a place that prison staff and their families called home and rarely even locked their doors. Children and teenagers took ferries daily to school, unless the waters were too rough. The island even had a bowling alley, movie theater, dance floor, and soda fountain. 

A quick tip if you plan to tour the cellblock: Download the Alcatraz Experience Audio Tour on your phone ahead of time.

The City By The Bay

Next time you’re in town, keep in mind the locals’ absolute distain over monikers like “SF” and “San Fran.” Dare to drop the ever-dreaded “Frisco” and you’re really in for it. In the late 1800s you could be fined $25 for such an offense. 

You’ve got to love a city who so values their self-worth.